what a day.

today is a beautiful day. (or: hoy es un día hermoso for my mexican readers)

the beloved offspring of my mother's brother, Sha'londa, came in town for the weekend, so i scooped her up in Manhattan Beach for lunch and a trip to the beach. Manhattan Beach is about 40 mins south of Noho, so gassed up 'Tima and hit the road to reunite with my favorite (and last remaining nonhopeless) cousin.

good times were had. we walked along the boardwalk, gossiped about our respective disappointing siblings, ditched our shoes and walked along the beach until the soles of our feet began to bake on the hot fuckin sand.

after rinsing sand off our feet, we looked up the stairs and saw este manojita de felicidad (bundle of joy).

first, i thought, "ah, how precious (que preciosa!)! a little well fed baby Mexicunt!"

then, we saw the shirt.

"Chocolate. Cheaper than New Shoes."
Chocolate. Mas barato que zapatos nuevos. (you know...for the mexicans)

that's right. rather than properly clothe this baby Mexicunt, the parents would rather feed her chocolate. yes. chocolate. and judging by those sloping shoulders and forming 3d effect on that shirt, Dora the Cupboard Explorer here is 5 years away from Cristina's "Mi hijo pesa 200 libras" (my child weighs 200 lbs.) show on Univision.


not cute. i blame the parents (mexicans: culpo a los padres). hell, AGUA and bananas are cheaper than chocolate, so I hope they get that shit under control soon.


on my way home, i battled LA traffic for the first time...

...and as i rounded the corner to my apartment, i spotted...this...child of God:

aww shit.

of course i had to get closer:
of course i couldn't leave it alone. i hopped a U turn, sped through the shopping center parking lot, zoomed across 3 lanes of traffic, and followed shorty doowop down the block.

parked ahead of where she was walking, and waited for her approach.

by this point i was sweating a little. you know...being this close to an angel doesn't happen every day.

and she strolled right into view, and into my heart....





i am a changed man. such style, such pride. sistergirl had WHITE hair. WHITE! like a skeet skeet skeet on Usher's chin. plus: poster-esque FLAT titties. like these pockets....

and had the nerve to twist those bright red lips up at me when I snapped a pic at the light. be glad i didn't call the damn SPCA, mmkay?

she then got approached by a man in a car...

hopped in and sped off. trickin in broad daylight, perhaps?

idk. homeboy might have got his knob slobbed, but i most certainly got my entire life today. thank you baby Mexicunt and Foolisha.

good day.


  1. AnonymousJuly 18, 2009

    for dear life...! lmaooooooooo Cali looks so beautiful...damn! this woman and that hair is like Lil Kim circa "how many licks" ewwwh! Love how you get your paparazzi on! Too funny...

  2. Damn, not Foolisha! lmao

  3. I think my giggle box just broke.

    iHate that iLove you.

    *besos* You know, for the mexicans.

  4. LMAO @ the chocolate-fed baby and the blonde beast. too much.


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