Monday, July 20, 2009

happy monday



i'm entering my third week in la la land. *handclap for me*

i have varying feelings bout my time here thus far. i'm becoming more aware and appreciative of the journey that lies ahead. in the past few days i've had some great, inspiring conversations with dancers/choreographers/artists whom i respect, and am attempting to redirect my thinking to understanding TIME. and the PROCESS.

moving here from NY, i had my dreams of what i want my life and career to be like. i now see my time in NY as a time of growth and preparation for los angeles. i am here to blossom, socially and creatively. i've taken steps in a more positive direction and can actually see the path in front of me. throwing myself into classes here has been exhilarating, eye-opening, and extremely humbling. in NY, i had a comfort zone. while Ballet was challenging, i felt comfortable in Dorit's class. i grew comfortable dancing in Jamie's hip hop class. here, the new mindset is: try everything. of course i'm identifying teachers and styles that i would love to become more comfortable with, but i need to broaden my range of abilities, for sure.

last week was an interesting week, dance-wise. in a handful of classes (out of 11 for the week), i found myself off to a good start, but becoming gradually more intimidated and unfocused. more than once, when i was challenged and stumbled, i mentally resigned and was unable to recover. not good. i'm not a dude that lives for instant gratification, but i had to tell myself after every class, "it takes time. it takes time. it takes time."

and it does. the more advanced dancers i dance beside, have been at it for years. even some of my favorite choreographers have been in the game for YEARS (some over a decade) without getting the type of shine they deserve. talking with a few dancers last week, i became more at ease with the TIME involved in my pursuit. my goal moving out here was to be "a completely different dancer" after 6 months to a year here. hearing various people's stories, i'm absolutely certain that i'll be more than fine.

as always, i'm clear that my path is my own. i'm much better about measuring my success by that of my peers. this short time here has already opened my eyes to many things. i'm slowly becoming more confident in general, and i see it in my interactions and behavior in social settings. and so on...

i keep going back to a quote i read somewhere...
change is a process, not an event.

and that has helped me tremendously. just needed to get all of that out.

off to class.

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